dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Randomize
