Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
i need an iv and a liver transplant
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
