I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
