Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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