Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Randomize
