it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
