as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Randomize