doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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