White coat. Heels.
Dude my mom stole all your condoms
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Randomize
