im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
