when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
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