Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
