yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
