YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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