I hate all girls vehemently.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
splinters make it hard to masturbate
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
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