your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
