He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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