i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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