I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
