i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
