i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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