when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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