How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Randomize
