the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
