Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
