Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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