All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
