i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
