Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
so much tequila, so little girl.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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