im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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