I smell stomach acid.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
