She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
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