Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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