i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
