he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize