how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
i would punch a child for taco bell
you would pick up someone in the library
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
