I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
We named our party play list daddy issues
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Randomize
