we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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