I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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