you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
