it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
