who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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