like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
