i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
My breasts were aching with rage.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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