I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
