getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize