In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
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