I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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