I heard we made out
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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