please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Randomize
