I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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