If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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