She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
