dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
