This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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